“BB” finally gave me a call about a week ago and I agreed to meet with him on the outskirts of Show Low. The meeting took place just before daylight in one of the areas where we had met before. I arrived in the dark and worked my way up over a small hillside that was covered with junipers and all kinds of thick scrub trees and Manzanita. After hacking my way to the top of the hill, I moved down to a natural bench that was perfectly positioned halfway down the back side. I looked for “BB”, but there was no sign of my long-time friend. As the gray light began to filter through the trees, I heard the light tread of something working up from the drainage below. In the half light I made out the unmistakable body of “BB”. He had obviously lost his antlers some time ago because his new growth had already started. He grunted a greeting and said, “Damn boy, I could smell you a long way off this morning; glad to see I haven’t lost my touch. There is no way that you could sneak up on me today.” I tried to give the impression that I could care less, but I had to get in a few digs. “BB” I said, “if I wanted to sneak up on you, I would have come around the other side and worked my way upwind of you. Besides, this is not even close to a hunting season, and you my friend hardly qualify as a bull based on that salad on top of your head.” “BB” tried to look offended for a moment and then started that darn chuckle of his. “Yep, I lost those bad boys about a month ago and I doubt any shed hunter will find them this year. I tossed both of them off on a steep hillside coming up from a nasty canyon. Each one landed in a clump of Manzanita trees and even I could hardly see them after they fell off. I do think that this year will be my best ever for antler growth though. Look how many different nubs I have already.” I was a bit impressed. His tops were coming in just fine and the mass was certainly incredible. I had seen a few bulls the previous week in the Payson area and they still had on last years’ headgear. They were of course, smaller than “BB” by far, but still, he was so far ahead of them that I had to agree. This could be his year for record growth. Continue reading →

While most folks were out doing their holiday shopping and partying through the end of the year, I had the dubious distinction of being summoned by my old friend “BB”. He had shown a great deal of creativity this time by sending a text message and signing off as “Santa’s big helper”. Braving some less than desirable weather, I pushed the Tundra through some slick roads and icy conditions to meet with the big guy. The last meeting had been in Forest Lakes, and this time he had roamed all the way to the southern limits of Pinetop, just before the White Mountain Apache lands begin. Meeting at 3:00 in the morning is not a great time for me and I had to consume vast quantities of Circle K special blend coffee to stay awake. I finally arrived at the appointed spot and climbed out of the truck.

“BB” somehow appeared at the edge of my vision in the moonlight. “Greetings old man” he growled. “Have you been a good boy this year?” At 3:00 in the morning I was not in a mood to play his game so I shot back at him “Cut the crap “BB”, I’m tired, cranky and sleep deprived. What the heck was so urgent that we had to meet before the holidays?” “BB” took a long look at me and started doing that darn chuckle of his. “Testy, testy, testy aren’t we. You better behave or I will not pass on good reports to Santa. And I have an “in” this year with the big guy.” By now I could tell that something was up, so in order to get the darn thing going I said” OK “BB” what is your “in” that you are talking about?” With a flourish, “BB” tugged on a satchel that he had draped across his withers. In the satchel was a sparkling new Tinepad. “Just look at this baby” he said “I can do all sorts of really cool stuff on it and best yet, all I have to do is be near a WIFI spot to get online”. I did some calculations and figured we were less than a mile from the Arizona Game & Fish Department Pinetop office. “Let me get this straight “BB”, you are basically using the department’s internet availability to do whatever you are doing”. “BB” got an indignant look and said “Hey, they’ve been using elk for all these years I figure it’s just a little payback”. I pondered that for a moment and could not deny that the department basically came about through hunting tags and licenses. His logic was unassailable. “Ok, what is all this nonsense about you having an “in” with the big guy?” “BB” got that sly look of his and started with what was obviously a pre-arranged speech. “Using the latest technology of the Tinepad, I was able to do some thorough research that dates back over three hundred years. Did you know that reindeer and elk are distant cousins? We have a historic background that dates back to really pre-historic times and aside from a few genetic alterations here and there we are basically reindeer that have adapted over time to our current genetic state. So, I did a genealogy study and low and behold I am a direct descendant of reindeer. I was able to hook up with some of my long lost cousins and believe it or not ……. I am a cousin of Rudolph.”

I was not sure whether it was too much coffee or I was hearing things. I looked at “BB” and said “Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that you know someone who works for Santa Claus?” “BB” calmly looked me straight in the eye and said “Yep, me and Rudolph are way cool friends now. He even signs off on his e-mails to me with a “BFF” notation. After we explored the genealogy report, we came to the conclusion that he and I are truly cousins, 75 times removed mind you, but cousins none the less. So, I have been appointed as Santa’s helper here in Arizona. It’s a really prestigious position and I am not taking it lightly. So, I have a “master list” that I will be presenting to Santa when he flies through here on Christmas Eve. Do you want to take a look at the list?” There are times in my relationship with “BB” where I have learned to just go with the flow. So I simply nodded my befuddled head and said “Sure, let’s take a look at your list.”

Using my flashlight, I began unraveling a lengthy document. Not surprisingly, “BB” had put his name first and listed to the right are his wishes from Santa.

I looked over at “BB” and started laughing. “OK “BB”, that’s a list I could go along with as well. I certainly hope that the year treats you well and that we have many more encounters like this. Could we just do them at a more reasonable hour?” “BB” snorted and said “Hijacking the department’s WIFI takes unusual hours. We will hook up again in the early spring. I just wanted to give you the heads up on my sudden new found importance. SO…. What’s on your list? I do have some pull now so let’s sit down and go over what you want for the coming year.”

I will not bore the readers with my own personal wish list, but since I am so closely associated with “BB” and since “BB” is closely associated with Rudolph and since Rudolph is very closely associated with Santa Claus, I will be taking wish lists for NEXT year. This year is already covered and by the time you read this, the gifts will all be delivered. But from now on…. You’ve got a friend in Low Places… Happy Holidays to all and a great new year for everybody!..JK

Continue to “BB” The Weatherelk!

“BB” contacted me through an old method this time. A letter stamped with his huge hoof print arrived early in September and he specified an exact location for us to meet. I was fairly surprised to note that we were once again meeting at the “Bugle Inn” restaurant in Forest Lakes. Our very first meeting back in 2005 was at this same location, but since his move to the Big Lake area, we had not been that close to the edge of the Rim. The night in question turned out to include an incredible downpour of rain and hail. I patiently drove the Tundra up the hill and pulled into the parking lot at Bugle’s around 4:00 am.

The owner had once again left the keys to the front door and I apparently was the first to arrive. I turned on one, single dim light and patiently awaited the arrival of my old friend. I have to admit, I was a bit tired from the long ride and the ugly rains, so I helped myself to a bottle of merlot and began thinking of all the times that “BB” and I had met and conversed. Before I could get too nostalgic, I heard a deep throated bugle along with a series of hoarse grunts that seemed to come from the parking lot. As if on cue, “BB” crashed through the front door. He was soaking wet, covered in mud and his eyes were bright red as if he was half in the bag. The drifting odor that followed him in gave me pause to smile. “BB” was in full rut and made no bones about it. “Well boy” he croaked, “how the hell are you?” I took a second to assess my wild friend. “Pungent” is a term that kind of gets across what I was thinking, but “reeking” was in actuality a more appropriate term. “BB” I said, “You have really outdone yourself this time. You smell marvelous, I’m sure every eligible cow from any unit would love to be part of your harem.” He broke into that deep throated chuckle of his and said, “Damn right boy, I’ve got 23 cows just on the dark side of road 200 yards up the hill. We have to keep this short since only half of them have been bred and the other half are getting close. A bull has to have his priorities you know, so get on with it.” It was my turn to laugh now. The image of several impatient cows tapping their hooves while he and I shared some time was just a bit over the top. “Aren’t you worried about some other bulls sneaking in while you and I chat?” “BB” gave me that sly grin of his and said, “When you’ve had the best, why settle for the rest?” With that he began that damn chuckle of his and it kept reverberating in the room. Continue reading →

The Call from “BB” was supposed to be one of our normal conversations, setting a time and place for us to meet. As soon as I recognized his tInephone number on my cell phone, I answered and pulled off the road to chat. “BB” however was far from his normal self. “You damn humans have done it again haven’t you? Where the hell am I supposed to winter this year? Where are all the little fawns supposed to go now?” I was stunned at his outburst. “BB” I said, what on earth are you talking about?” “BB” calmed down for a brief moment and started explaining. “The whole damn forest is burning down. All I can see is smoke. The whole herd is making tracks for the far northwestern reaches between Show Low and Heber. I never wanted to go back there, but thanks to you humans and that damn bear, we are heading back that way.” I had heard that there was a fire that had started and they had named it the Wallow fire. At that time however, we had no idea that it had gone to epic proportions and that a lot of lives would be changed by the inferno. “BB” started explaining what was going on and I was stunned. News had not yet filtered down to the Valley that the Wallow fire had taken off, so I was getting first hoof information about the fire. To say “BB” was angry is an understatement. He railed against humans and how we mismanage things and then lit into the “bear” again. I tried calming him down and said “BB” what bear are you talking about? “BB grunted over the phone “That stupid Smokey the Bear! All he ever says is that “only you can prevent forest fires” stuff. When will humans ever realize that fires are a good thing? If we had fires every year then none of the fuel buildups would occur, none of the thickets that hide tons of pine needles on the forest floor would just sit there waiting for a lightning strike or worse a careless human to cause a fire”. Continue reading →

I am totally thrilled with the new technology that’s out there. Recently, “BB” has also moved up the technological list. For our past few meetings, he had been using his Hoofberry to contact me. Well, he finally upgraded and is now using a tInephone . The tInephone has a fairly elaborate set of applications that “BB” has become enamored with. I was somewhat surprised to get a text message from him requesting our quarterly meeting. He had an attachment that utilized the GPS coordinates and all I had to do was follow the pin that kept getting closer and closer as I drove out to meet him. I have to admit, I was fascinated by how well “BB” was adjusting to our new world. As I got closer however, I was treated to something that I never thought I would see in a million years. The whole hillside was covered with flickering candles. Mind you, I was miles from anything, and seeing a shimmering hillside really blew me away. I pulled off the road and parked under a stand of Ponderosa trees.

As soon as I got out of the truck, I could hear “BB” calling my name. “Get up here boy” he said, “I want you to take a video of this.” I walked up to “BB” and calmly asked “Okay “BB”, just what the heck is going on here? “ I could plainly see that there were hundreds of elk and all had candles that were lit and mounted in small rock piles all across the hill. The elk were swaying to some kind of rhythmic beat and I could tell they were pretty emotional about what was going on. “BB” just gave me that loopy grin of his and started with the explanation. “I saw a video clip on my tInephone about a recent meeting that was held at the Sheraton downtown. There were a bunch of people that were holding this candle light vigil for those damn horses. Seems that they don’t want a single horse to be injured or removed from the landscape of the west along with their runty half brothers that are called burros. I decided that if humans could do something that dumb, then maybe we could get a clip sent down to the Valley to show how mean and cruel it is to us elk that you very effectively remove us each year but are showing all this preferential treatment for an animal that was never on this continent until 500 years ago. We deserve the same treatment that those other animals get. We have our rights too!” Continue reading →

As each season passes during the hunts, I always think of how my dear friend “BB” is doing. With his weird sense of elk humor and caustic comments, I dread thinking that some lucky hunter has finally taken my verbose buddy to a meat locker. Thankfully, I received a text from his hoofberry that he was alive, well and looking forward to a conversation with me. I packed up the Prius (gas conservation mind you) and headed for the meeting spot.

Since the Prius can’t hit the heavy gravel roads, we arranged for a meeting that allowed me to do a minimal amount of off-road driving. We arranged for a full-moon meeting at a place just outside of Show Low. I was surprised that “BB” had come so far down off the top from Big Lake, but hey, he was doing me the favor. I arrived at the spot just after 10:00 pm and then hiked in through some heavy thickets for about a half a mile. I noticed a glow as I approached the spot and almost fell over as I saw a big production taking place. “BB” had at least 20 bulls and cows lined up with sacks of something draped over their shoulders. “Greetings “BB” I said. He barely looked up from the task at hand but managed to say, “Heard you from the time you left the pavement and smelled you since you locked that little gizmo you’re driving. What the hell is that thing?” I laughed and said, “Why “BB” I’ve gone green. I am now an environmentally conscious person.” “BB” snorted derisively and said, “Yeah, and I’m now a carnivore.” I explained that since I do so much city driving I felt that it was time to drive British Petroleum’s profits down. The fact that I spend about $700.00 per month less on gas was also a small factor. I finally had to ask what the hell he was doing. “Do I have to guess, or are you going to tell me what this big production is?” “BB” smiled and said, “This is what we call a hunter attitude improvement load.” That comment caught me by surprise and I felt a degree of sarcasm from my friend. “Seriously “BB”, what is all this stuff and what are you doing?” Continue reading →

It had been three months since my last encounter with “BB”. I still remember the stunned look in his eyes when we were standing in two feet of snow just south of Springerville. I knew that he would never forget the moment and I decided it would be a bond between us forever. I suspect that “BB” would have been pleased not to have endured the moment, but heck, he has had more than enough fun at my expense.

It was time for the annual fence removal project at Big Lake and I knew that after 5 years we would be tearing down the last of over 35 miles of fences. I have many memories of that area and I looked forward to being at the exact spot where the last of the fencing would be removed. I had gotten a text message from my furry friend that he would be available after the dinner hours in our usual spot. As luck would have it, the last spot was along a ridge that had a severe drop down to and then a long hike into. The team of individuals who helped were all hard working and we rolled the last of the wire well before quitting time. I savored that last mile as I recalled how daunting the task had been when we started. My thoughts then shifted to “BB” and I hoped that the winter had treated him well. Continue reading →

The fortunes of winter had provided a blanketing of deep snows that had buried the Big Lake area. As expected, herds of elk had been driven off the mountains with some migrating all the way to Springerville and Eager. Commonly called Round Valley, the twin towns were suffering from the elk that were mowing down trees, shrubs, hay and whatever else they could munch their way through. After some deliberation, The Arizona Game & Fish Department decided to hold a “Population Management” hunt. The hunt is unique in that it is in a very small territory and you have to be very careful to be at least 450 yards from the nearest home. I was somewhat surprised to get a phone call from the Department informing me that my name had been pulled for the hunt. The tags were for bulls only and we were made aware that the odds were pretty tough to get a bull. I decided to take the chance and bought the tag. I tried to contact “BB” to see if we could possibly hook up, but I had no idea where he was or what direction he had taken during the storms. I half wondered if during the hunt we might run across each other, but decided that chance was pretty slim. The Valentine’s Day weekend turned out to be a memorable one for both “BB” and myself. Continue reading →

On the holiday weekend when all families try and gather together, I got the call that “BB” wanted to talk and he wanted to talk NOW! Armed with leftover turkey sandwiches and a drumstick that I had carefully hidden from the rest of my family, I made the trek up to the Big Lake Recreation Area. “BB” was not hard to find, as he had a gathering of some of the most impressive bulls I had ever seen. It kind of felt like an old time religion revival meeting as I watched “BB” parading in front of no less that 30 bulls. He seemed to be communicating to them in a fervor that I had seldom seen. Since I do speak elk, I tried to nuzzle read what he was saying. Even at a distance the message was pretty clear – “BB” was telling the other bulls that he wanted them all to drop their antlers at a specific location in the weeks of February and March. He then said that they were going to place the shed antlers on the heads of horses that had been sullying the neighborhoods along the Rim. His thoughts were that the humans would switch from shooting deer and elk and finally convert over to bagging horses. The bigger the racks on the horses, the higher the possibility that hunters would begin to view them as trophies, and that was the message for the day… outing the horses! At the end of his diatribe, the herd began to disburse and he started to trot over to me. From the short distance, I noted a distinct limp to his stride. Immediately I became concerned as to his welfare. I looked at his right rear leg and said ““BB”, what the heck happened to you. I thought that no hunter would ever get to you…are you okay?” “BB” looked up with a fiery look in those big brown eyes. “Hell boy, no hunter has ever come close to doing me in. Took a damn poacher to stick me with one of those puny sticks and even then, he barely caught me in the leg. I can tell now when the rains are coming but it seems to have healed up quite nicely. Can’t you guys do something about poachers?” I thought about the problem of poachers and how humans can do some pretty stupid things. “BB” had always been a great looking bull, so it should have come as no surprise that someone would want his prized antlers. “I am sorry “BB”, the Arizona Elk Society as well as the Arizona Game & Fish Department are really trying to discourage poaching. Every commission meeting, someone is brought before the commission and they lose their license for 5 years and then have to pay a hefty fine on top of that. Then they can’t hunt in all the western compact states, so they really lose more than it seems. But poachers and hunters should never be talked about in the same sentence. We are as different as night and day. Poaching and hunting have only one thing in common…an animal on the ground. We abide by the laws. Poachers have no laws, follow no rules and are flat out selfish”. “BB” mulled that statement over and nodded as if in agreement and then lit into me. Continue reading →